Understanding the Individual In Covey's book, seven habits of highly effective people, one of the seven habits is "seek first to understand then to be understood". This post will discuss Covey's six major ways of making deposits into these Emotional Bank Accounts and how we can avoid making withdrawals. If we are to salvage the relationship, we must make a conscious effort to make regular deposits. On the contrary, when we make withdrawals and our balance becomes low or even overdrawn, bitterness, mistrust and discord develops. If we can keep a positive reserve in our relationships, by making regular deposits, there will be greater tolerance for our mistakes and we'll enjoy open communication with that person.
And as a result our relationship develops and grows. When we make emotional deposits into someone's bank account, their fondness, trust, and confidence in us grows. The emotional units that Covey speaks of are centered around trust. However, instead of dealing with units of monetary value, we deal with emotional units. And just as with any bank account, we can make deposits and withdrawals. This account begins on a neutral balance. If you've never heard of this, it basically means that anyone with whom we have a relationship with, whether it be our coworkers, family or friends, we maintain a personal "emotional" bank account with them. When it comes to improving and maintaining our relationships with others, Stephen Covey's metaphor of the Emotional Bank Account is probably one of the most powerful ideas ever created for the development of interpersonal relationships.